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Goat Simulator Review: More fun than a petting zoo

Who knew being a goat was such fun? Anyone who picks up Goat Simulator of course!


Update! This absolute monstrosity of a game that was still somehow incredibly lovable is 6 years old. At the time it felt pretty groundbreaking, both in the open world game play and the developers’ disregard for any real logic to their game mechanics. But is this very gimmicky game still worth its salt?

So what’s new? Goat Simulator has largely been left alone as the developers carried on with other matters, such as Goat Simulator in Space, natch. However, the original retains its weirdness and we’re sure still finds new audiences. For us, the shine has worn off a little bit. The developer has retained most of bugs, claiming hilarity, but ultimately now that games have moved on on the iPhone, a celebration of a weird, often frustrating to play title feels a little archaic in the world of Apple Arcade and super-powered iPhones. However, we’ll caveat that by saying if you’ve never played it before, you absolutely should stick that on your bucket list.

Revised rating: It now all feels a bit so what, you know? ★★★.


Our original review, written in September 2014, is presented in its entirety below.

Goat Simulator may well have started out as a joke over at Coffee Stain Studios, but it’s since gone on to become their most popular title. The concept is simple – you are a goat in the small town of Goatville, where you can run around, jump, headbutt, and pick up stuff with your super sticky tongue – you know; goat stuff.

But make no mistake, the game itself isn’t some kind of well-detailed farmyard sim, but an hilarious sandbox game that focuses entirely on not taking itself too seriously. Start by exploring the vista of Goatville, butting and licking everything, more of that goat stuff – but don’t be surprised when the game hands you a curveball. When you come across a car, you’re going to be inclined to headbutt it, thinking it may just leave a dent, but instead the car explodes and propels the goats lifeless corpse through the air until it thuds back to earth. You’d be right to assume this is game over but instead you can stand right back up and get back to making even more things explode. Excellent.

The game devs make an appearance

The game devs make an appearance

There’s a little more going on however, and as you explore you’ll notice that you’ve started to rack up some points from simply jumping around and destroying items. but also by completing certain objectives, which are cryptically named. There’s also plenty more of the game world to investigate, from a car doing doughnuts in a field, to someone hang-gliding through the sky, to some weird Satanic markings. Try interacting with any of them and you’ll get some strange results.

Completing the objectives also unlocks different goats with special powers. There’s the Tall Goat, otherwise know as a Giraffe, and Queen Goat, who can call other goats to her. There’s also the Jetpack Goat, which is just and manic and crazy as it sounds.

Maybe I shouldn't have licked the mushroom

Maybe I shouldn’t have licked the mushroom

The game isn’t without it’s pitfalls though. The graphics aren’t great,  and it can be extremely glitchy. Your indestructible goat can sometimes get stuck in the scenery which requires a respawn. Items don’t always react the way you expect, either. This can sometimes add to the fun but not when you’re trying to direct a giant boulder down a hill, for example.

If you’re looking for something that’s just a bit of fun, then Goat Simulator is it. There’s plenty of things to do in the small locale of Goatville and the unpredictable nature makes it worth repeat plays – hopefully Coffee Stain will add more to explore in the future as well. So, in conclusion, and without wanting to ram the point home too much, Goat Simulator is definitely worth playing – it’s one of the funnest games out there, we kid you not.

Well that was easy

Well that was easy

Developer: Coffee Stain Studios
Price: $4.99/£2.99
Version: 1.0.1
Size: 99.8 MB
Platform: iPhone and iPad

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